As I sit here at 10:20 at night, while my family is asleep, and with a cat on my lap, I am filled with a sense of peace...or is that exhaustion?  On top of my super busy schedule (I'm sure I'll go into that in another post), I have decided to go back to blogging my thoughts out here.  I have been on a wellness journey for the last year.  However, only recently do I think I have found the magic potion to actually get me there.

I always had this notion that I was thin when I was married without every trying.  I mean, I spent most weekends drinking and having fun with friends, eating whatever I wanted.  That means I didn't try to maintain or lose weight, right?!  It wasn't until recently that I realized that I worked out at the gym about 4 days a week for an hour or more.  Funny I would forget that, don't you think?

So, since my son was born, a whopping 4 years ago, I have struggled with getting myself back to where I can fit into those same clothes that I did that year I was married.  (Yes, I still have them...locked in a plastic storage container until I can wear them again.)  I feel like I've tried everything.  I've done various home workout programs, tried running again, and crash dieted to no avail.  So, what was missing?

The balance I had then.  I was young, blinded by love, energetic, and apparently disciplined enough to workout a lot and eat right (most days).  These days, I think there's one thing that will fix it all.  No.  There's no one thing that is going to make this right.  There are many moving parts that all have to be aligned.  So, this is my way of bringing you all along on my journey as I try to re-center myself and learn from my own darn mistakes!

To show that I am keeping myself accountable, I started today!  I ran for about the third time in 2 weeks on my Zero Runner.  However, I beat a goal I've had for myself for a long time!  I ran 3 miles in 30 minutes!  Boo-Yah!

It was supposed to be a 30, but my lack of ability to edit photos makes it a 0-3.  Either way, I did it!

Baby Weight

Women constantly complain about losing weight after having a baby. How much you have to lose, how long it takes, how much harder it is than you think it should be, etc. I heard all this prior to having a baby. Did I believe them? Sure I did. Did I really believe them? No, not at all. How hard could it be? You put it on, you take it off. 'Nuff said.

To all those ladies that told me it was hard, I apologize for not believing you. In fact, I may have laughed at you. At your lack of dedication to the task at hand & at your laziness. Too bad I now have to laugh at myself too.

Here I am, just shy of 3 months later and I still have 16 lbs to lose. Yuck!

I don't have loughty goals of being super model-I-don't-eat-more-than-a-piece-of-celery-a-day-skinny. I just want to fit into my clothes again. I would rather not have 2 wardrobes. Just the one is fine.

I started weight watchers a week and a half ago. I feel bad actually having to say that I am doing that. I should just be able to lose the weight from running. However, due to my lack of physical fitness right now...running is just not doing it.

So, here I am hoping to get this weight off in the next 3 months so I don't have to renew my Weight Watchers membership. Good luck to me...apparently I need it.

Growth Spurt?

Wow. Mr. R is the world's most amazing baby. He has been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks, eats consistently well, smiles all the time...(jealous yet?). Until...

The past few days, he has refused to eat, slept a lot of the day, but woke up multiple times at night, and has been cranky.

This was me:

Tons of fun, I can assure you. Today, he seems to be back to his normal self, which means I can run before it gets too hot. Leaving the house with him before was not an option.

Hopefully my running will get back to what it was soon.

Manic Monday

In the life of a stay at home mom (which I currently am for a few more days), Mondays are pretty much the same as any other day with one excpetion: husbands go back to work. And with them go the extra set of hands.

For all you men out there (which I am sure there are none), an extra set of hands is not all you are. However, for moms, it is a large part of it.

Today, I have a plan to get a lot done. A large portion of which means I have to leave the house. If there is one thing I have learned now that Mr. R. is here, it's that leaving the house is a production. I have to make sure I have bottles, a change of clothes, diapers, pacifier, jacket, all the things I need to actually run my errands, etc. So, to leave the house, it takes me an extra 20 minutes or more. Inevitably, Mr. R. decides he's either hungry or needs to mess his diaper at the exact time it is to leave. For a person that is usually anal-retentively on time or early, I am now perpetually late.

On top of needing to leave the house, which requires me to shower, get dressed, and actually do my hair and make-up (until I lose this extra 20 lbs, the last 2 steps are a necessity to feel normal), I am applying to grad schools. One application is due tomorrow. Working on completing that is important too, especially since I just paid one of the 2 application fees.

The only thing getting me through: I might be able to watch Twilight tonight with the Coastie. Wow, this is what I now look forward to...

So far, I have successfully showered before Mr. R. woke up fully, I had 1 cup of coffee (more to come), ate breakfast, changed a dirty diaper, and actually let the dog out and fed her. I call today a success already!

Hope everyone has a Manic Monday just like me!

Mr. R turns 1 month old

Today is officially Mr. R's 1 month birthday. Yay, Mr.R, you made it this far! Wow, I rhyme. I hate people that rhyme.

Anyway, I am having mixed feelings about this. On one hand, he is growing up. On the other, I don't want him to. I had a wonderful day of cuddling with him. I know he won't stay this small for very long. I just want to enjoy it as long as I can. So far, this month he has lifted his head more and more, slept longer at night, and started making cute little noises. He is a finicky eater and a Mommy-cuddler. Overall, just pretty darn cute!

However, I'd much rather enjoy it while running the local streets. Unfortunately, since that is not possible at the moment, I am enjoying it from my local couch. And walking the local streets.

Also, today was my 2nd time out of the house without Mr. R. I got to go to a bar and have a drink, which is fantastic! Before anyone says anything, I am not breastfeeding, so drinks are allowed. And before I get flogged for this, yes I have a good reason for not breastfeeding.

Things went reasonably well. Mr. R is currently asleep and I am not, which I should be. So, good night all!

Return from a hiatus

I have been MIA, once again. So much for becoming the greatest blog on the web. However, I have an excuse, and a pretty good one at that (I think).

This is my son, Mr. R, on his birth day wearing his party hat. He was 7 lbs 10 oz & 20.5 in long on 1/3/12. He is the reason I have been MIA. Or so I tell myself.

Unfortunately, after a long day of labor & pushing, his journey ended in a c-section. Mr. R just did NOT want to come out. This is proven by him being 8 days late and never descending (hence the c-section). Apparently, my womb really is the greatest place in the world.

So far, however, he has been coping with being in the real world. He's sleeping at night now, which is a big feat. Not so much on sleeping through the night, but that's ok for right now.

So, due to the c-section, I have not yet been cleared for exercise. So, I have this awesome running stroller that I cannot run with yet. I have been walking with it and all I can say about performance so far is that it maneuvers well & has some pretty good shocks.

I plan to write more about my daily adventures with Mr. R, The Coastie, and of course running, when I'm allowed. Hopefully someone out there finds it interesting besides me.

Thursday is Question Day!

I want to start a trend here on Misadventures. Every Thursday I will ask a question to those of you that are my loyal followers. I expect answers...well, not really expect....hope...plead....you get the idea.

Why Thursday, you ask? Because today is Thursday and today is the day I actually had an idea...I would call it an original idea, but I am not sure that it is.

So the question of today is:

If you could be sponsored by 1 company (or whatever/whoever can sponsor people), who would you be sponsored by and why?

My answer would be Nike. If you asked why, I would first have to answer that it's by default. I was organizing my running clothes today and realized that 80% of what I own is Nike. The rest is a hodge-podge of other random companies including what I believe was a Walmart Special...or was it Target? My usual running outfit looks something like this:

Note: Nike hat, shirt & shorts. I am not always so matching...minus the pink hat...that is more like me. I distinctly remember the Disney 2010 half marathon where I actually threw on everything I owned to keep warm. The basis of the outfit was still Nike, coincidentally.

On the more serious side, Nike does support women running. They had the Nike Women's Marathon last year. I couldn't find info about one in 2011, though. So, I'm not sure that there is one...I would assume so, but that cannot be confirmed, nor denied. They have tons of women's running apparel, as I have illustrated and currently own.

But really, when it comes down to it, who can resist the swoosh...either wearing it or saying it. Just say it...go ahead...you know you want too...SWOOSH! HAHA. Makes me laugh every time!

P.S. If you are a Nike rep and would like to sponsor me, please respond...I would be happy to accept any and all free gear you may have. (I would also happily spread the word about women & Nike & running)

I'm Baaaaaacccccckkkkk!

I've been absent. I'm so sorry. Not that there are many of you out there to care. However, I care. I have had some health issues going on that unfortunately are too personal to share with total strangers or the internet world. At this time, I'd rather leave it as "health issues".

My first entrance back into the running world was the 26.2 for Donna Marathon Relay last Sunday. I can honestly say that I ran a total of about 2 miles to train for my 5 mile leg. Oops. Maybe should have done more than that.

It went surprisingly well. I finished my 5 mile leg on the beach in an hour. Which is right on par with past running experiences. So, I was excited about that. Especially with my walking breaks.

My one issue was with the Galloway-ers. I was hunted down and left in the dust by the 5 hour pacer group. Semi demoralizing considering I was tired I couldn't keep up with their running. They would pass me, then I would catch up when they were walking. Then I would get behind and pretty soon...I couldn't catch up anymore. However, they did finish before 5 hours....sneaky people.

But, I did actually see Jeff Galloway finish....pretty cool!

I got the bug again. So, I went out running today. It was overcast at the start, and then started raining. I always thought people that ran in the rain were either crazy or hardcore. I'm now officially leaning towards crazy because if I hadn't been a mile and a half from home when it started, I would have stopped and gone home immediately. Conveniently, it started about 3 steps from my turn-around. No miles lost. Just my common sense.

I plan to train for some up-coming races if I can work them into my work schedule as well as my doctor-y stuff. I will run until he actually states that I need to stop.

Screw Tempo Runs & Chafing

Today was attempt numero dos at an outside Tempo Run. No bueno! (For those that don't speak Spanish, that translates into I suck!)

I was supposed to do a Tempo Run with a 1 mile warm-up & cool-down and 4 miles at 11:30. (For those that are faster than me...don't hate...I'll beat you one day!) However, once again, Tempo = Fartlek for me. I ran my warm-up, which sucked...how can a warm-up suck? I should have just stopped there. But, I'm too dang stubborn to do that and if my calendar says 6 miles, 6 miles is what will be done, one way or another. Unfortunately for me, the latter was true. Mile 2 was great at 11:31, then it was 11:50, 12:30 & 12:17. With some walking at the beginning of miles 3, 4 & 5. The cool-down however was much enjoyed!

So, for me, I say SCREW THE TEMPO RUN! I can't seem to get it. My body is perfectly happy doing this on a treadmill. I guess when you're on a machine and your options are either keep up or fall off the back, you tend to keep up. Besides, the fact that the treadmill kind of pulls you along helps too. Maybe, I can hire someone to attach a rope around my waist and pull me the whole 13.1 miles of my next race! I might keep up then. Or have an attack dog with big fangs follow me...I'd probably keep up then too. Or...I may decide around mile 8 that rabies is more appealing than the chills that come after me getting really hot, along with my vision getting blurry around the edges and the dizziness that I experienced today. (If I remember correctly from nursing school, these were the signs of heat exhaustion, or stroke or something like that...Oops.)

One the run was over and I jumped in the shower to get rid of the running stink, the water burned me. Yay for chafing. It always occurs under my boobs, where the sports bra elastic is. I'm starting to wonder if the reasoning for this is the fact that my bra is about 8 - 10 years old. I recall reading something that says that you should replace sports bras every 6 months. Do you know how much money that would cost? More than I'm willing to pay. I'm also now putting together that my bra may be restricting my breathing...maybe that's the latest excuse for me not being able to complete a Tempo Run.

Either way...Screw Tempo Runs and Screw Chafing. Or, I could just suck it up an call myself a runner...these seem to go with the territory.

Hot Blooded vs Cold Blooded

You know those people that are just naturally cold all the time?

Well...that's me...just ask the Coastie. My feet have the ability to suck all the warmth from his whole body with the touch of one toe in the middle of the night.

My patients would tend to agree as well. Apparently hands like ice can be felt through latex gloves....who knew? However, I have on my side the fact that my hospital keeps the ER at about 60 overnight. (Do they not want our patients to stay too long? Or is it their conniving way to make us stay awake? The world may never know...)

So, with all my reinforcement towards such, I believed myself to be somewhat Cold Blooded. Not in the killer way so much, but in the I need sun and a hot rock to be comfortable way.

(Randomness: the Coastie just made a berry smoothie as thick as a sorbet and gave me a small cup with some whip cream on top! AMAZING!)

Much to my amazement, this self proclaiming Cold Blooded Non-Killer may not really be so Cold Blooded. How did I come to this conclusion, you ask? Tonight's run. It's about 70 degrees out. Not humid. What most would consider perfect running weather. So why on an easy 2 mile run can I get so freaking hot? And not sexy hot either. Red faced, look like I'm going to pass out, call the ambulance now, hot. Lovely...

I leave you with this question, then: Can I be both a Cold Blooded Non-Killer & Not Sexy Hot Blooded at the same time?

A Day with the Dogs

Disclaimer: No, I am not in the dog house. Well, not yet anyway...the night is still young.

I worked last night.

This means I took my standard 4 hour (-ish) nap to convert back to normal-people time to spend a Sunday with the Coastie. The day started after a great lunch made by said Coastie and a Red Bull for me.

If there is ever one thing you need to know about me it is that I have a love affair with caffeine. Caffeine = HEAVEN. I cannot start a day without it (nor make my way through a night shift). Coffee, Diet Coke, energy drinks....it doesn't matter. As long as it has caffeine in it, I must consume it and I must consume a lot of it. If you want to be my friend, bring me anything from Starbucks or anything caffeinated.

Anywho, back to the story. The Coastie and I took our doggy Mac to the dog park for the first time. Mac has never been to a dog park because the old South Texas town we were in is NOT dog friendly (I'm convinced).

She did very well. She didn't snap at too many dogs, but she is a girl, so there were some....but all in all she did great. We stayed there for a couple hours...

Then, we went home, had a shrimp salad for dinner and are now watching a movie...well, watched a movie...with wine...which means I should probably not be writing right now...

Until tomorrow....

Hawks...are they really dangerous?

I attempted my first Speed Workout today.

I should just end it there rather than put my embarrasment of the actual result of such an attempt. However, that would not leave you anything to read. Nor to laugh at. So, here is my account of my first Speed Workout.

I went to the base to run on their "track". Yes, that would be track in quotation marks. Wonder why? Well, when asked exactly how long the track was (at the last Base, it was 1/2 mile, so I have learned to ask), the lovely lady with the beard & mustache told me that 3 3/4 times around is equal to 1 1/2 miles. Say what? Can you put that into laps per mile for me please?

Thank goodness I brought Garmin, because I was not finishing this without it. I walked out to the "track" after moving my car closer because not only is it not a real track, but it goes around 2 baseball fields where you lose visability of any belongings you plan on placing around it. The car became necessary to reduce petty theft.

Warm-up Mile

This was a great mile, slow enough to just warm me up, took about 2 and 2/3 times around (who know actually, more than 2, less than 3).

Speed Mile

This was supposed to be in 10:31. I finished in 10:35. Now, that looks like I pretty much did it, but it's deceiving. I walked a few steps twice during that time. Yes, I realize this means that I was actually going faster than intended. Oops.

800 rest

Enough said. I walked it!

Speed Mile

Again, supposed to be 10:31. 11:17. Yuck! I had to walk like 3 times. This could be a combination of the heat, the fact that I drank too much water on the rest and the fact that they were cutting the grass on the baseball fields (I'm highly allergic). Or, it could just be that this was my first attempt at Speed and I was tired. I'm gonna go with number 1, that ok with you?

800 rest

Yay, more legitimate walking. No self deprication here! Although, on my last time around I was nearly attacked by a Hawk. He was sitting in the middle of the baseball field when I was making my last round for my rest and right when I was passing by, he flew to the fence right next to me, trapping me between him and the trees. I had no way out! I picked up the pace a tad, prayed, and barely escaped his talons. Phew!

Cool-Down Mile

What? You think I did that with that Hawk out there? You're crazy! I had a plan to duck between the baseball fields, cutting my loop in half to finish up. In fact, I did it once. But, then I looked down at Garmin and realized that I had hit Stop instead of Lap and what's the point of doing a cool-down mile if you can't prove you did it anyway. I was at the car, might as well stop. Besides, I saw that Hawk eyeing me.

As I was leaving, I saw a few other runners coming out. I looked at them longingly and mouthed "Good Luck poor souls". I sure hope they know Hawk self defense!

Excedrin is my friend

On my days off I have this horrible habit of not drinking enough water. Which is usually ironic because we have a water bottle cooler do-hickey in the kitchen specifically for the purpose of giving us more water to drink. Normally, this is great, as I have the Coastie home to refill said water bottle for me to stop the incredibly annoying beeping and blinking light that ensues when it becomes empty. I am in the unfortunate predicament that I am both off work for 6 days and without the Coastie.

This morning I woke up with the worst headache. OK, I'm exagerating. It was not the worst. Just bad. And dehydration enduced. You would think being a nurse, I would have a wonderful way to get rid of headaches. I do. It's called Excedrin. You would also think that I would take this immediately and drink some water. You would be wrong. It took me until 3 PM to take anything. I did take it with water and am now on glass numero tres. My headache is cured, but my lack of motivation to go running is not.

To keep myself honest, I am going to PROMISE to y'all that I will actually run tomorrow.

The Social Network Review & My Run Today

The problem with being both a Military Wife and a Nightshift Nurse is that you rarely see your husband. The Coastie and I managed to finally have a weekend evening off last night. He surprised me with a trip to the movies to see The Social Network.

This movie is Amazing!

From the first scene with the fast talking banter to the last where it finally all comes together, it was fantastic. You must go see this movie. I was not at all planning on ever even renting it. It looked lame. Not so. The main character is hilarious!

My run today was interesting. My first attempt at a tempo run turned into a fartlek run. Mile 1 was a warm up...went well. I was actually not winded at all...I have finally learned what a warm up is supposed to feel like. Miles 2 - 4 were to be tempo miles at 11:08. I almost made mile 2 on time, but at 1.9 miles I had to stop. I think my goal of 2:30 at the half in December is a bit too lofty. At leat to start training for it now. We'll see. I made it, however! All 5 miles.

Hoo-AH

I ran my very first offical 5K. I say official, as I have ran the distance numerous times since I started my running adventure. Since moving, I have not really run that much. This is unfortunate. However, I felt that despite that, I put on a good showing.

35:38 @ the Warrior Run 5K

It was a tad hilly, once again something that lacks in the area of town I live in. But, the scenery more than made up for it. It was one of the ritzy neighborhoods south of the city. The type that have greco-roman pillars holding up oversized balconies that most likely attach to massive master suits. Between mini-mansions you would catch glimpses of the water with docks and expensive boats. Quite breathtaking, I must say.

I was very happy with my performance, and even more happy to show my support for an amazing cause. So, here's to remembering our injured soldiers who fought for Sept. 11 and those who are still fighting.

Forcing myself to change

It's 11:35 on Tuesday night and I'm sitting on my couch trying to find ways to stay awake. Switching from a day schedule to a night schedule is hard. My night shifts at the hospital start tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to the inevitable crash at 6 AM....1 hour premature.

1. I went to the gym. I'm back to lifting, at least I hope I am. I'm going back to my old favorite, the New Rules of Lifting for Women. I figure, I'll start there, get back into it, and then branch out to what I really want to do...one of those plans that is chest this day, arms that day, etc. I need a foundation before I do that. I know me, I'll quit.

2. I read a magazine about exercising. Yay for Women's Running and Muscle & Fitness Hers magazines. Lots of inspiration!

I do have to say...I was in the best shape of my life when I was working nights...well, ok not really the best...that was when I was crazy person getting up at 3:45 AM to make it to the gym at 4 because I refused to be late (on time) to work at 8. That was the best. But, other than crazy person, night shift was where it was at for exercising.

After 2, I'm out of ideas of what to do. No, 3. I wrote my blog entry. Ok, now I'm out of ideas. I was hoping to stay up until at least 2 or 3. Not so much.

Maybe it's time for some TV and hoping it doesn't wake up the Coastie.

Old Friends and New Ideas

I'm sitting here after getting off the phone with a friend from Texas. I blinked and I have been in FL for a month. Yikes...where did the time go? It's so great to talk to friends that know you after being surrounded by people that don't. I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not, I can just be. I'm working on just "being" here in FL with my new job and new friends. It's hard. However, I feel like the people I have surrounded myself with will very much allow me to be myself.

I can't help but wonder, though, if new ideas come from new situations. For example, I am having a very hard time keeping up with the running. I ran yesterday morning, but it left much to be desired. I am going to try running this evening (hopefully). I'm trying to mix it up a bit to learn where I will end up here.

I have a vision of myself and this tall, skinny, runner-chick that dresses in running related clothes all day everyday (minus the scrubs at work) and still look amazing. At 5'3", I'm sure the tall thing is not happening. However, the dream of being skinny may never go away. I do, unfortunately, have this eating problem. Since I got home last night, I have tried to eat my weight in snack food and continue to sit an complain about not being in the shape I want to be. Do you see the problem here?

So, I need to make a change. A change to go along with all the other changes, new state, new house, new job, new friends...same me. Change 1: run. None of this saying I'm a runner and not really putting in the miles. I'm going to actually do the work and then be proud of myself when I reap the rewards of my hard work. Change 2: eat healthier...notice that it does not say to eat healthy, but rather healthier. That is because there are certain things I may not be able to give up. No, that's not right, there are certain things I am not willing to give up!

I've already started on Change 3: Be the best nurse I can be!

Crazy TV Shows

I just got finished watching a 2 hour Criminal Minds and I am left with 1 question: Who thinks this stuff up? I'm more worried about encountering the people that are paid to sit in a room and think up crazy stories to put on this show than I am of running into one of their characters. You have to be seriously crazy to have all that running around in your mind! From serial killers who eat their kills to people that hurt children...I'm not sure I could deal with being the person in charge of creating all that craziness!

On a more important note, the Coastie and I are safely in our new "home" in Florida. From the east coast to the south to the east coast again. It's going to be me seeing the country on the government's dime because we have moved so many times! We are currently searching for a gym to help me lose these 10 lbs I've gained while not running and dealing with the stress of a move!

I also start my work back in the ED tomorrow! Orientation was not great, but tomorrow I am back on the unit. Gotta love patient care!

Wow...time flies.

I changed my blog, stated my aspirations to be the best blogger out there, and all for naught. Life got in the way.

I have been amidst a struggle with my health (I am fine), but some "issues" arose that have not only taken all of time and effort, but every last emotion I have. I have not run & realized yesterday that I miss it. I miss the alone time. The time to think & process what's happened that day. The shape I was in was nice too...a shape that is not round. Battling these hormones is like fighting off the end of my girlish figure. Awful!

We are moving to Jacksonville, FL in the summer due to The Coastie's job. I'm excited & sad all at the same time. I love my friends here. But, I am happy to be on to something new. Unfortunately, that means finding a new job. Not hard when you're a nurse...a bit harder when you refuse to work nights. I'll find something.

Also, I passed my nursing certification exam today. I am officially a Certified Emergency Nurse...as my Dad says...3 more letters to add after my name...Becky, RN, BSN, CEN. Gotta love it. He once told me that nurses needed tri-fold business cards to hold all of their credentials. That's my goal. To have SO many credentials after my name that I need another business card just to hold it all.

That may take a while.

I am looking into running groups in Jacksonville & have determined that joining one could be interesting. Has anyone (if anyone reads this anymore) ever been part of one? It is fun? Exciting? Please let me know...

Well, I plan to start being more active on here & my other friendly runners blogs. Now that my test is out of the way, I may have a bit more time to myself...plus if I can start running again, then I'd have something to write about.

Give me back my hour...and noone gets hurt

Daylight Savings Time...man's creative way to make daylight happen at the time he wants it.

I read from a friend on Facebook that it's not so much saving time, but redistributing it. I whole-heartedly agree. It's a sham. If it worked so well, everyone would do it, but there are still those smart areas like Arizona or Indiana where people refuse to buy into the governments idea that changing the clock will make any bit of difference.

This morning, I have a perfect example as to why when we are doing it, it's done on a weekend, not on a work morning. I set my alarm clock forward last night before bed. I woke up this morning to my husband's alarm going off. I just happened to look at my clock to see what time it was and FREAKED thinking it was now 2 hours later than it was yesterday morning. So now, not only do they expect us to bump our clocks ahead, they make alarm clocks that will magically do it for you, but they don't tell you that. You are none the wiser and so the conspiracy begins to get you to wake up WAY before you are supposed to. A nice swift kick in the butt in the morning just before spring when people are tired and starting to drag because winter won't end. But, I beat them! I didn't actually set my alarm...so HA, I woke up at exactly the correct time without your conspiracy!

Now, I just need to keep the adrenaline rush going to get through my 12 mile run today. If I can do today, I should be good for the race in 2 weeks...minus my lack of training and 10 extra pounds...but that's a story for another day.